I could write my own write-up of this project but then I’d be doing a severe injustice to just how fucking hilarious the pitches of Algorhythms aka Humpasaur Jones bka Thirstyseven really are. I’d rather let him tell you in his own words.

Well, this No Humans Allowed jibber is on some whole new new shit. Me and Louis Mackey recorded this in March, most of the production is by him – 2 beats are Dr. Quandary.

The story of Wombaticus Rex is all about how I have totally fucked myself by constantly making up new names for every project I’ve ever done. I used to rap as Thirtyseven, it was simple: I was just another terrible white rapper with a single name.

Then I met DJ Multiple Sex Partners, which is like the craziest name ever, who was a Russian dorm student at this high school I went to, and we started a group: Wombaticus Rex. King of the Wombats. It was completely retarded and we had a ton of fun.

DJ MSP couldn’t DJ for shit, he set up a cardboard screen on a table and put a laptop behind it and he’d go through every set acting like he was cueing shit up and hitting buttons, doing scratches and controlling the set.

Let’s be real: most real DJs are primadonna pains in the ass so I never felt like I was really missing anything, no matter how many cats that we opened for who told us we were fake as fuck. Being a Vermont cracker, I was already hip to the fact I was fake as fuck, and about 30% of my catalog is songs about exactly that.

He’s making music videos for Stones Throw in LA these days, which tells you he was smart enough to leave Vermont more or less immediately after high school. Not this guy. I stayed for years, doing shows as Wombaticus Rex and gradually learning how to actually rap thanks to performance enhancing drugs like LSD.

What I was really hooked on, though, was spinoff projects. I started Algorhythms and Humpasaur Jones within a year of each other, and when I fast forward to 2011, I find myself with three completely separate fanbases, a hilariously failed career and best of all, nobody in the fucking Universe even calls me by my actual “rapper name” which is Thirtyseven.

Wow, it felt good to type that out.

So No Humans Allowed is the most professional (and hateful) project I’ve ever done so I decided to come full circle and try to reclaim Thirtyseven.

TURNS OUT IT’S TAKEN BY A MOTHERFUCKING CHRISTIAN BAND FROM TEXAS. So terrorizing them is next up on my list. They have it completely sewn up legally but I have the kind of mentality that views setbacks like that as an encouragement to push harder.

My mentality now is that I’m just going to accept my retard-level branding mistakes and push every single name I have as hard as I can. I turned 30 today and I feel like I need to give music at least one more honest, serious, everything-I-got push before growing up and committing to a career I fucking hate. It’s been an awesome year so far. I got faith.

I’m also pretty stupid, though.

Download: Louis Mackey & Thirtyseven – No Humans Allowed

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